3:34 pm - 03 July 2004
Treeson's guide to healthy eating
people say to me "hey, Mr Tree, whats your secret to staying so slim and looking so athletic?" and you know what i say to those people? "haha. haven't you seen the beer gut i'm cultivating?" to which they reply "no. is there one?" and i get upset because i want people to see The Gut, hell, thats why i'm growing it. but still, they persist, how do i keep my slender shape? and the answer, my friends is in the diet and the exercise.
the picture above is an example of my diet. i ate this lot last night at about 11pm 'cos i was a bit peckish. rumour has it that i made the jaffa cakes and choccy roll (in the blue packet) look like a winky and some danglies, but, eh, yeah. i did. you may question the healthiness of this, but look at the evidence: jaffa cakes. they're orange. oranges are fruit. mullerice has fruit in it. and the apple pie has, uh, apple, which is fruit again. and fruit is healthy. Inklet has told me before that the fruit in mcdonalds apple pies - and i imagine these apple pies as well - isnt real apple. or isn't proper apple. its not good for you, anyway. and she may be right. but apple is apple is fruit is healthy. the biscuits are there to vary the diet. also, what are jaffa cakes classed as? they're usually with the biscuits in safeways and tescos and sainsburys, but surely with a name like jaffa CAKES they must be CAKE, and therefore kept in the bakery section with mr. kipling's stuff. i can't remember if i discussed this with Inklet or T:B:B; i imagine it was the latter.
most saturdays, while Inklet is working, me & T:B:B: go to the local shops and have the same lunch every time, which is salad. well, its got salad in it. and it comes from a place where they sell apple pies (without healthy apple, apparently). we (I) drive to the shops, 'cos we can't be arsed with walking. we used to play a lot of football together (kick a ball to each other for 10mins then sit and chat for an hour and a half about girlies) but not so much any more. and that is my secret. well, not any more. so to recap the basics:
- eat shit
- don't excercise
actually, the eat shit is a bit of an exaggeration. mother treeson cooks me proper food most nights, and i cook Inklet proper food some saturdays. she cooks more than me though because she's better at it and doesn't want me to poison her innit.
i'm watching Oasis live at the Barrowlands, Glasgow, 13-10-01. people, you HAVE to listen to Acquiesce. its the bestest song ever, even Noel said it should've been a single. its on the Masterplan album (collection of their best b-sides) and the Some Might Say single as the 2nd b-side (track 3. whatever.) its a must have.
going to Inklet's yard now for the weekend. i like going there 'cos i get to see her and i like seeing her 'cos she's my favourite innit. non-english people, you may not understand what "innit" means. it comes from the greeks and the turks of norf london who say it to mean "isn't it". they also say "issit?" which is like saying "really?". used to wind up one of my college people, whenever he said it we'd say "yes, it is". example:
i'm going to see Inkysoso today
issit?
yes, it is.
no, it doesn't make sense, does it.
going now.
Treeson: home alone while his parental units are on holiday woo yay.
also. meepful has added me to their buddy list. are you mad? this is rubbish.
